


The Best Man Got Someone Older Than The Maid Of Honor

by Jus



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon What Canon, F/M, Get Together, M/M, Post CA:TWS, Romance, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 04:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4006351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jus/pseuds/Jus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil is happy to be there and see his favourite agents get married, but things get nostalgic.<br/>The fact that Clint's older brother is hot helps making the evening better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best Man Got Someone Older Than The Maid Of Honor

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just not sorry. Barney and Phil could be great together.

"… And who knows? Maybe you'll _finally_ find someone!"  
"Clint, I'm your S.O., I literally know all your friends and all your colleagues. Because you don't have friends outside of work."  
"Kate would yell at you. Also, she's the maid of honor, and you know the tradition…"  
"Then again, Kate is kind of your work, and she's not even an adult. Stop moving and talking bullshit, or I strangle you with this!"

Clint was indeed very agitated, the black tux forced on his back too smooth and proper for him. Probably. Phil was unsuccessfully trying to tie the man's purple tie, matching his own bowtie. Clint clasped his hands behind his back, keeping them from fidgeting with his vest, and lifted his gaze to the ceiling. Which was stark white and totally plain, so Phil didn't know if it could keep the man's attention for long – spoilers alert: it didn't.  
Natasha and Phil (Clint had been evicted from taking decisions, because he had looked at them and suggested to get married in a dinosaurs theme park) had decided against a huge ceremony and chosen a small countryside church to get married quietly. If you could call a gathering of still-loyal-to-SHIELD agents and the Avengers something quiet. The only person he didn't know that had been invited was Clint's brother – and apparently he wasn't even coming, because the ceremony was starting in a few minutes and he hadn't showed up.

The official things went all very well, and if Nick was more impressive than him as they led the two soon-to-be-married agents, it was solely because of the patch (Phil's suit was way better than his former employer's). The priest started talking to the quiet assembly – Phil didn't pay too much attention, these things had always bored him to death – and he played his best man part perfectly. That was, keeping Clint from moving too much in his spot, because then he'd whine he looked ridiculous on all the pictures. The only disturbance was a noise at the back of the audience in the middle of it all, and no one stood up during the vows (Phil let go of a breath he didn't even know he was holding at that moment).  
The joy on both his agents' faces was the best gift in the world, because he knew how much they both deserved, and that was at least each other. And if they didn't get sappy, then his speech during the dinner tonight would do the job for at least the next ten years. Phil was kinda proud of it, because he succeeded in not embarrassing any of them too much – that was Stark's favourite job–, but he still had put jokes in it, because he was a funny man. A very funny man.  
He tugged a bit on his bowtie, which was tickling the sides of his chin. Ties were so much better, but then again, Natasha had looked at him with narrowed eyes and screeched, "Bowtie". You don't get on Natasha's bad side when she looks at you in such a way.

The neat thing with winter weddings was that they don't allow spending time outside. Especially in the countryside were snow is present at all times. Phil was really glad that the priest had indicated them a good hotel for the reception, just across the road. The reception room was way too big for their restrained number, but at least they'd have a lot of space to dance. Who said the saviors of the world couldn't get some fun time and dance on electronic music?  
Once filled with all the guests, the room didn't seem that big anymore. Everyone gathered around the couple to congratulate them, when a gruff voice with a strong Midwest accent started yelling from the back of the crowd. Phil hadn't enough time to think if the person could be a threat that he recognized said person from old photos. It was most certainly Clint's brother, and his sudden apparition would explain the noise at the back of the church earlier on.

"Lemme pass, it's my baby brother!"

The quiet, but definitely whiny sigh that Clint let escape was just as unusual as the mortification on his face. Clint Barton was a dweeb and did many stupid things, but he owned up to it. However, the joy of seeing his older brother soon swept away any other emotion from his face as a mop of auburn hair appeared and they crashed into a tight embrace. Phil smirked, relieved that his insistence of at least inviting the dreaded man was, for the moment, a good thing.  Many agents and definitely all the Avengers (minus the bride) seemed really surprised by the fact that Hawkeye had a brother, but he really didn't seem half as bad as Clint said he was. He had cleaned up, compared to the only picture of a grown-up Barney Clint had, and he was even more attractive this way. Only the light coppery stubble on his face betrayed a rushed race to arrive; and the costume, clearly borrowed, fitted him quite okay in the end. Phil wondered how the man would take to getting to know the Avengers, but surprisingly, after having said a few words of congratulation to Natasha (the both of them having met once, many years ago), he turned directly to him.

"You're Phil Coulson, right?" he drawled, and his extended hand was inviting and sincere. Phil knew body language.  
"I am. Nice to meet you, Mr. Barton." They shook hands, and for all the petty crimes he had allegedly committed, Barney Barton had that sort of handshake that Phil had come to recognize allies by.  
"That was my father, 'm just Barney. I, uh… I'm no good at this, but," he seemed suddenly embarrassed, "Thank you, for looking after Clint when I couldn't. And putting him on the right path when I chose the bad one."

He was reminiscing events from 15 years ago, Phil realized. When he had found Clint beaten up, trusting no one and wanting to take his brother down. Things were better now, Barney had gone to jail for a few years before the case had been taken up again and new elements cleared his name partially. Clint had stopped resenting him, if he ever had really done it, but they have kept their separate ways, only phoning and sometimes, Phil knew, skyping.  
Phil assured him it was nothing, really, and the raised eyebrows were clearly saying that he was full of bullshit. That was kind of right, Clint had been a part of his life for most of it now, but Phil was absolutely certain that he was a good part. A noisy, jerky, unnerving part, but he could live with that when he could presently see the couple's beaming faces. He couldn't imagine a better life for his agents.  
He was surprised when he realized that Barney was still at his side.

"Don't you want to talk to people? I'm afraid I'm pretty boring."  
"Man, Clint, Natasha and you are the only people here I know. And I've just met you, but you don't seem boring at all, even very interesting, I'd say."  
"Thanks." He felt a faint blush color his cheeks, "But Clint's team is way more interesting."

He tried not to look at Kate Bishop who was smirking at him from the other side of the room and making thumbs up, chatting calmly with Jemma, and focused on how his other agents seemed a bit too interested by the gigantic bowl of punch. Was Leo even allowed to drink in the U.S?  
He excused himself distractedly, quite sorry for Barney when he saw Stark approaching him as he left to monitor his team. Skye had that smile that was a warning for some kind of catastrophe, so he made them promise to not do anything reckless, not tonight. All he got for his trouble was a comment on how purple wasn't his color.  
After a good hour spent eluding questions about his speech and catching up with most of the people in the room, Stark loudly let them all know that the food was ready. The main table, where the Avengers sat around, had two more chairs. He quirked an eyebrow at Natasha.

"C'mon, Sir, do you really think I would've let you sat away from us on our wedding day?" Clint's voice was genuinely surprised. Phil didn't think of correcting his "Sir".  
"I changed the plan last minute," Natasha said with a smile in her voice and in her eyes. "You're so stupid, Phil."  
"Hey! I'm not stupid! Watch yourself, young girl; I still have a speech to do!"  
"Right. Hey, Barney, we got you a seat too!"

After some rearrangements and a lot of complaining ("Can't we move Spangled-man with Wilson on table two so I can have Pepper?" "No, Tony!"), Phil found himself squished between the two Barton brothers. Barney had taken the seat at his left as soon as possible – he supposed that since Natasha had been attacked by Steve so he could escape Tony, he was second choice. Clint raised a brow but said nothing.  
Phil had to say, the combined efforts of Pepper and Banner on the food had given an excellent result. Natasha's eyes went big at the bottle of Russian vodka that appeared magically in Nick's hands at the end of the meal, just before the cake. Phil grinned widely, he knew he had to do a shot for his toast, but that shit was so strong he could barely take a drop. It'd probably kill him. With a smile, Natasha served Clint, Phil and herself, and then waited for him to speak.  
Steve and Thor made enough noise to get everyone's attention, the god greatly interested in the alcohol. Getting up and shuffling to move behind the newlyweds, Phil started. He started off from the beginning, and then to how they were a team, and then how his agents left for a team of their own – and how he couldn't be more proud of them. He skipped a few jokes, made some on the way, and noticed how Skye was looking at the couple. He smiled at her, because she was in the same position as them, along with Leo and Jemma. Who knew, maybe one day he'd be there to watch them get married too.  
He missed how some people were looking at him as he hugged Clint and Natasha at the end, whoops erupting as the three of them drank their shots. Clint and Natasha immediately kissed afterwards, as he grimaced, sat and tried to laugh the terrible taste away, but that wasn't working.

"That's one hell of a kiss." Barney seemed really happy for his brother.  
"Hmmm," he agreed lazily. "In Russia, the couple kisses to make the taste of the vodka go away."  
"And. You don't have anyone to kiss?" Phil shrugged. That wasn't this man's concern, and he liked his privacy. He turned his head to see that Barney was looking intently at him and huffed out, "No."  
"I thought the scary-looking Asian agent was your… I don't know." He got a hold on the bottle, now nearly empty after Thor, Tony and the Colonel Rhodes had helped themselves to it.  
"Melinda? Oh, hell no." He giggled, unashamed of how relaxed the alcohol seemed to make him, and extended their two glasses.  
"You seem close. And that young woman could be your daughter," he said as he served them, nodding in Skye's direction.  
"She's kind of a daughter to me, but… Yeah, no." Really articulate of you, Phil. He clicked his shot glass to Barney's, and they drank the alcohol at the same time.  
"Wow, that _is_ strong," he remarked with a wince. "How don't you guys wince?"  
"Training."  
"Bullshit. Anyway, that's good."

Phil didn't ask what was good. He didn't really care, because the cake was being cut carefully by Thor, who seemed to be the one to be the most experienced with giant mountains of food. The distribution and eating took some time, and he found himself talking easily with everyone as the alcohol worked its way into his system. Barney made great jokes, and he couldn't help laughing, even at the worst ones. The man didn't look like he wanted to try and talk to anyone else and Phil might've been creeped out or annoyed by this at any other time; but this was a wedding, and he was actually enjoying the attention. No one had taken interest in him in a long time, and even if the tipsy quality of his brain was reading things the wrong way, this was really nice. At some point, Steve, who had been appointed in charge of the activities, cleared his throat to announce a karaoke.  
Phil loved karaoke. Turned out he was going to have concurrence in the persons of Sam Wilson, Jane Foster and Barney Barton. Jane crushed them all into pieces as she sang really, really well- better than Darcy, that was for sure. The dancing on the cleared-from-tables floor started with a slow led by Clint and Natasha, him tipsy and laughing brightly and her smiling softly. He felt his heart ache at the thought of the old, crappy apartment they had shared for years and that no one would keep now. He'd have to go get the very last things that were there, now that they all had a new life. Nostalgia overwhelmed him in a way only intoxication could help with and he sat on the side, helping himself to some punch.

"Hey, Coulson. Don't drink that, it's been spiked." Barney shuffled, a drink in his hand, and apparently drunk. Or at least tipsy. "I saw your agents do that. If the girl all in purple is one of yours."  
"Eh, whatever. I'm a sleepy drunk, I won't annoy anyone. And no, that's Kate, she's Clint… Uh, student. I think that's what they decided on."  
"Not like Stark, then. The drunk, I mean." Barney grinned, "He's been arguing with Rogers for at least 30 minutes now."  
"God save us all." He gulped down half his glass in one go, before coughing. "It's disgusting; I need to teach them how to spike something discreetly."

They went around chatting together. Barney could prove himself nosy, but he was a good man. He asked about Clint a lot, how he did during all these years, admitting he felt too bad to ask that to the man himself. Phil, flushed and feeling light-headed, couldn't help but felt sorry for the guy and filled in many blanks, or at least those he was conscious enough to get right. They seemed to get along really well, but Phil preferred to stay out of everything, after New York. And Barney was Clint's brother, that'd be awkward.  
But Barney was a funny drunk. Phil could do with a funny drunk.

 

* * *

 

 

Clint woke up with Natasha pressed against him. He didn't even feel hungover from yesterday's drinking, just amazingly good. And married. He grinned at their hands, next to each other, and the discreet bands of gold around their fingers. Natasha hummed, rolling closer to him and crashing against his chest with a muffled "good morning" that barely was audible to him. He tried not to laugh, but failed amazingly and she slapped his arm, demanding breakfast in bed to make up from him being mean. He chuckled but got out of bed, letting her cover her body back with the comforter, put on jeans and a t-shirt, way more casual than this dumb suit, and got down after kissing her forehead. He kinda looked forward to eating breakfast casually in bed too, if he was being honest. That was a great way to start married life. He hoped the coffee was good; Phil had said that it was, but then Phil was a SHIELD agent and could support every kind of coffee, as long as it kept him awake. He wasn't surprised to see that many people were already up as it was nearly 11. Most of them looked at him piling things up with a smirk, until Tony stopped in front of him with a grin that usually meant trouble. He focused on his lips to be sure to catch everything that was being said.

"Heeeeey! Slept well?"  
"Yes, Tony, I slept okay." He rolled his eyes at Tony waggling his eyebrows. "Stop doing that, or I'll call Rhodey and Pepper." That earned him a loud whine.  
"Happy to get another wedding in the family soon?" The man asked instead. Clint blinked.  
"… What?"

Everyone around him tried to speak at the same time. Clint was glad he hadn't put his aids in, because from Bruce's scrunched face, that made way more noise than he could hear. Apparently, from what he gathered, Phil and Barney had disappeared together around 2am, very much like a couple ready to "have a very good moment, they had their hands all over each other" ("Ew, Tony stop, they're my _brother_ and _best friend_ , I've seen them both naked!"). That seemed quite impossible. Seriously, his brother and his former S.O and best friend? It sounded like the kind of bad luck that only happened in these horrifying fanfictions involving Tony and Steve.  
… What? Everyone read them, why not him? Despite the fact that Tony was now engaged with Pepper and Steve's declarations of asexuality, people seemed very keen on imagining them as a couple. Doing really weird things sometimes, he had to admit. People were crazy.  
But back to the point. Barney could be an asshole, and Phil had had some problems because of New York, and he refused to believe this until they went through a good load of pictures to get one where they were holding hands. Phil seemed pretty interested in Barney's lips. Natasha entered the room at that moment, glaring, but actually smiled when he explained her what was happening. She nodded and told him that he just hadn't looked, as usual. She seemed so calm it felt surreal, and he tried to figure out if that was a joke. But then, Barney and Phil appeared together, a bit ruffled – Phil had lost his bowtie – and through the door that led to the indoor pool. They stopped dead in their tracks as everyone looked at them, like rabbits in the headlights. Clint lifted his hands in the air, clearly done.

"You're adults, we don't care. But you decide who gets the shovel talk first."

 

* * *

 

 

It's late after they finish the movie, but no one wants to go to bed. So they start a game of truth or dare, adding people as they arrive, losing some to sleep. Barney is driven out of his spot on the balcony by the laughter; Phil decides he might play too. Jane and Thor have gone to bed, pretexting headaches and tiredness, but no one's stupid enough to believe that. Sam is sleeping against Steve, Maria is watching the lot of them with keen interest. There isn't enough room on the couch, so Phil lets his spot to Barney, only to sit on his lap afterwards. There's a light 'oompf' from the archer, but no protestations. The secret agent man grins to himself. Tony lifts a drunken hand and spins the bottle, which unfortunately falls on them.  
Phil looks at Stark, all giggly and wiggling his eyebrows, and decides he'll elect safety. And Barney's lap is too warm and comfortable for him to get up.

"Truth."  
"Okay, okay, what did you two do the night of the wedding? Where were you even? "

Barney chuckles against the back of his neck. It tickles, but Phil's a SHIELD agent. He only sighs, like he's very, very bored.  
He _is_ bored, only by what is going to follow his statement.

"You may not know it, Stark, but I'm a sleepy drunk. So Barney didn't know my room number, and all I know is that I woke up on him, on one of the long chairs by the inside pool." Snickers follow his revelation.  
"Liar, you big liar," chokes out Stark between wheezes. Pepper is elbowing him.  
"Sounds like there's more," peeps up Steve.  
"He's right, Phil," says Natasha. "I mean, you were _disheveled_." Phil only shrugs one shoulder.  
"And you lost your bowtie!" Stark has the intelligence to add.  
"Ah, no-" Barney tries to stop himself, but now everyone is looking at him so he goes on, "I took that off his neck, actually. We only kissed a bit!" He groans between Phil's shoulder blades, whose laughter is so discreet he barely shakes, "Well, I would've gone further but that lightweight was sleeping on me when I looked up from undoing that stupid bowtie."

Even Steve and Bruce are laughing at them, now, and they laugh with the rest of the team. It's nice to feel like one big, weird family.


End file.
